Spring, Suddenly, So Much

I can hardly believe that only one month has passed since my former post: so much has happened since, if only on the seasonal front – in the past two weeks, Montréal went from late Winter to Summer, then back to Spring.

Silver Maple trees all over town are suddenly turning their tight packages of buds into yellow-green bouquets of flowers, each more perfect and alluring than its distinct, perfect neighbour. They appeared about two days ago, and in a few more days young leaves will be taking over.

By the time I finished writing this post, it was happening already.

And the crabapple that keeps company to my balcony went through the same day-to-day transformation.

For me, the season of growth actually began on March 26th, a few days after this year's auspicious Spring Equinox. The monthly “Kirtan” evening was taking place that very Sunday, and I had good hopes of finding more clues there... So I spent the entire session with my eyes closed and a heart wide open, fully present.

On several occasions during the first hour I felt sadness, fear and doubt rising like a cloud of mud from the bottom of a creek; always the fresh, living river of the sacred song washed them away. And then they were gone.

Throughout the chanting, I was completely immersed in (and actively swimming with) tangible currents of hope, love, trust and strength – which progressively allowed the dispersed particles of my own love, strength and trust to be reunited​ within my own soul…

Together, they settled down in the centre of my body, ​reconstructing my center of gravity.

A steady spring of tenderness was now overflowing my heart and mind. I gratefully began to send it back to my companions, into each loving vowel, each hummed note; I was effortlessly one with my intention.

And slowly, I felt my whole being firmly taking root in unconditional love, like never before.

I have often wished I could be as strong, compassionate and sensitive ​as a tree – yet it remained an inspiration, an image. Human beings are, well, “only human”. Or so they say.

But as the chanting went on, it truly happened: I was now rooted in the powerful, fertile soil of love that lies at the centre of everything.

And just like that, I became aware that I was finally becoming my own tree.

It sounds so simple, but until then I had not known it was possible…

Then I understood (again as a wordless, quiet evidence) that from now on, I would be able to grow any additional limb that was required to become who I am, to embody this tree fully. “Keep growing your roots into the universal love that you are experiencing this evening, and trust the process” was the message I somehow received.

When we are grounded, not only in the present moment, but in the deep interconnectedness that is creating this present moment, we are somehow put in presence of all that is.

Which in turn, or sometimes simultaneously, opens many doors into synchronicity, serendipity, and a deeper awareness.

Two weeks later, I was unexpectedly (?) offered the opportunity to carry this process one step further.

I was evoking the Kirtan experience (in general) to Lorne, a person I had come to really appreciate and trust in the past few months through our discussions at the yoga centre, where he would give occasional Qi Gong workshops. At some point, he mentioned that he is also a practitioner in energetic healing.

The particular presence of this tree reminds me of his personality.

Really? This would certainly be helpful, I thought – I particularly wished to learn how to manifest in a tangible way my energetic field around me, creating a natural shield, so that I could remain open hearted and sensitive (and kind) without appearing as an easy target for some people.

So we scheduled a healing session for the next Sunday.

Then I heard the first American Robin of the year,
though every tree was still bare.
Had I needed another sign, it was singing right there.

Before we started, Lorne said something that immediately made sense to me, a truth I recognized as such on a deep level. 

“If you want to create a positive, effective energetic shield, you need to claim your own space. You need to fill it up from the inside out, to embody all of who you are, exploring your own abilities and talents, trusting yourself. Let your energy circulate freely within your mind and body, let it create its own momentum, let it expand.”

This wonderful, ancient willow greeted me with such tenderness that I was, at once, completely present.

I can’t really describe his clearing, repairing and balancing of my energy centres (or chakras), mainly because I was trying to remain attuned to my perceptions, instead of taking mental notes – but I could definitely perceive the successive changes inside me during the process.

Quercus Robur (English Oak)

Did you know Oaks had such lovely, pale green young leaves and flowers?

Before I left, he gave me a specific breathing exercise to be done a few times daily. He added that some of these changes might lead to some unsettling stages at first, yet it was important to carry them on with faith… 

Much to my own surprise, one of the subtle, significant shifts that have taken place since the healing was obvious from the very next day: I can now be my merry, slightly exuberant self with people in general, not just my friends and family :o)

So far, there had always been an inner, invisible barrier that prevented me to show my whole personality to strangers (or even friendly customers)… as if I was vaguely worried that they might either reject me, or take advantage of me in some way. (Probably because both scenarios were quite real in my teenage/student years).

But now the very opposite is true. I feel warmly welcomed, and this new confidence also sends a positive message regarding my own integrity – something along the lines of “I am happily in charge of/busy with my own life”. 

Scilla siberica. I call them "fées-clochettes", bell-fairies.

I know that the next step, for me, is to let this exuberance and freedom expand within my creative projects  :o)

I have been busy reorganizing and discarding things – while switching my apartment from winter mode to summer mode, which is quite exhilarating. I still have a major paperwork task ahead, I am planning a three-week visit to France this summer, and a translation arrived on my desk yesterday, next to a bird eagerly waiting to be painted.

And this is a sketch of the very first bird announcing Spring in Montréal, in early April: the Red-winged Blackbird. 
You can see here that instead of using black, I simply build on layers of colours until I reach a rich, dark tone.
I call this a labor of love :o)

Last but not least, Spring is here, suddenly, so much.

I have recently spent blissful hours on my beloved hill, witnessing, pondering, scribbling in a notebook.

And through all of this, I am growing into my own tree.

Can you feel it, too? The merry, tender exuberance of the season, taking hold of your human heart?

Spring Equinox Healing

Some of you may remember that my favourite place to reconnect with my wild side is my “secret garden” on the Mont-Royal.

Since I can’t bike through snow-covered streets, in winter it takes me a good hour just to reach the bottom of the hill, waiting for several buses (plus another half-hour of plodding uphill). This winter was so intense – weather-wise and otherwise – that I was unable to go there at all, so our Spring Equinox reunion was all the more powerful.

The equinox itself is a beautiful mystery to me, as is the Earth’s axial tilt. In 2015, the Vernal Equinox took place in conjunction with the New Moon and a total solar eclipse… All together, these events were apparently opening an auspicious window, inviting us to envision our wishes for the future.

The light was very soft when I entered the cemetery, but soon a clearing in the clouds allowed the sun to say hello.

I think this is something you can do whenever you have a strong sense of connection and alignment with both your intention and the world around you, preferably in a place that sustains this feeling.

On March 20th, when I realized that this conjunction of events was happening on my day off, there was no stopping me. (And during the past two days, the snow and ice had melted just enough in the streets for biking :o)

On the left: tracks of a small-footed person, whose coat was trailing in the snow :o)

When I left the path to walk through the deep snow towards my familiar place, the slant of the sun through the remaining clouds underlined the rolling hills and the bare trees in a beautiful, contrasted scenery: a perfect setting for celebrating the return of the light.

The previous night's tracks had melted a little in the morning so they were blurry,
but I think they were Raccoon's (and a Marmot's)

My friend the Rowan tree, who is an inspiring companion up there whenever I am drawing, meditating, dreaming, or simply soaking up the present moment, was patiently waiting for me. 

The Rowan's undulating branches enchant me - here in their early June's vibrant incarnation.

Her bark is also inspirational, soft and strong, shimmering with green, bronze, orange and red.

All around us, the light was suffused with hope and tenderness, and with a deep sense of renewal. I hugged the Rowan in gratitude and awe: the fresh scent of her bark, the slow rush of sap I could hear underneath, were unexpectedly exhilarating. 

I have just looked up on the Web what the Rowan's symbolism sounds like, and she is apparently the perfect tree for reconnecting with your wild child – your creative, intuitive self – particularly when you have been denying this wild child for a while.

“Using meditation, Rowan is helpful with clearing the mind and opening our inspiration. The Essence of Rowan is used in vibrational medicine to assist in attuning us to nature, broadening perspectives, and making room for a deeper understanding of our place here in the universe.  It also has a significant role in protection.”

There was a wonderful lightness in the air, carried by each scintillating wave of the hill below, that made me dizzy with relief. I was myself again – free to dance wherever my wild child would lead me. 

And for now, that was enough. Somehow, I knew that once reclaimed, free from external influences or from old patterns, my intuition would help me find each following step, whenever the time was right. 

So I simply made a solemn promise to do just that, from now on. 

I said it in a smiling voice, to the hill and to the Rowan tree, to the sun and to the wind, to the light and to the shadows. 

Chrysocolla, Chrysoprase, Fire Agate, Lapis-Lazuli and Petrified Wood.
Interestingly, the Petrified Wood kept sliding through my fingers towards the Rowan's roots.

I said it to my open palm, where I had placed a few stones to help me remember this promise, the way I did effortlessly last summer.

I know. This is my true self, radiant and at peace. I won't forget her again.

Then I playfully climbed down the hill: it would have been safer to retrace my steps to the path, but symbolically it was important for me to go ahead in fresh snow, which I did by venturing across the slope below me. This time, the snow reached up to the hem of my skirt. 

Before...

The Wild Thyme Fairies were fortunately my only witnesses, and they probably had some fun ;o)

…and after. My boots were so packed with snow (as you can see) that I was unable to take them off.
I eventually managed to remove most of the snow by sliding my hand inside each boot...

And then I biked home, shivering for having remained in the cold a bit too long, but feeling as hopeful and brave as a freshly opened crocus popping up from the barely warmed-up earth.

Indigo and purple stars lighting up the bare land.

When the First Quarter Moon appeared in the sky, a few days later, I understood that I had to keep my promise lighted up, every day – thanks to meditation and writing, drawing and dancing, but also through my interactions with the world.

If your purest promise to your soul is alive in the way you look around you, in the way you listen to others, in the way you talk to them, then it will be carried back to you, enriched by these encounters, and it will strengthen your resolve.

You are my witnesses, dear readers and friends  :o)

xo